weary soul
Living in a world of my own

Why? Why? Why?
Why fucking why.
Why am I like this.
Why was I created to be this way.
Why is it that I don’t mean anything.
Why is it that I’m apparently invisible.
I just want to mean something.
I want to not feel empty.
I want to not feel anger.
I want to not feel pain.
Emotionally or physically.
I want to not be weak.
I want to be strong.
I want to be someone who doesn’t need anyone.
I want to be that person that is happy and gives everyone good vibes.
I want to be someone that I’m not.
Everything I am, I want to be the opposite.
I want to change everything about myself.
The way I view myself, and the way others view me.
I want to have a better perspective of what I see in the mirror.
I want to not wake up, and have these thoughts of me dying.
I want to not make scenarios in my head of what would happen if I died.
I want to not think of how I would die.
I just hate thinking.
My mind is a never ending road. A long, bumpy road. A road that is empty, and I’m the only one on it. It drives me insane. Being the only visible one there. My heart is torn, ripped, and broken. 
I want to be someone who loves the world & everything around me.
I want to find peace in everything.
I want to be able to look at the positives rather than the negatives.
I want to not be so concerned of people’s opinions.
I want to have self confidence. 
I want to be feared & respected.
I want to feel healthy & smart.
I want to be everything that I’m not, everything that I could never be, and everything that is nearly impossible for me to achieve.